Ballycrone

The seaside village of Ballycrone was founded over 500 years ago by local fishermen due to the abundant variety of fish found off it’s shore. The village and it’s surroundings have undergone many changes over the centuries. It’s first mention was in the Annals of Thomas the Cretin when he recorded that half the village had floated away during a particularly bad storm in the Winter of 1514. Whether this was voluntary or not amongst the participants of the now famous ‘Floating’ is unknown, however it is certain that no record has been found of them since.

On the 12th March 1613, Sir Richard ‘the Bell’ Ceann arrived with his entourage to Ballycrone, ringing his famous bronze bell and declaring the land on Batter’s Hill (now known as Bastard’s Hill) his and his families for a thousand generations. He brought gold and wine for the fishermen of the village to appease any unrest that his sudden arrival and acquirement of their land might bring. So started the grandest lineage of Ballycrone that there has ever been.

Many will remember the famine of 1786, when a deadly blight struck the turnip supply in the farms around Ballycrone. The locals, being very fussy eaters, refused to vary their diet by eating other vegetables and did not make use of the rich supply of fish (fish being used mainly for dog and cat food at the time) and so 70% of the population died of starvation.

Over the subsequent years, the population of Ballycrone steadily returned to it’s previous highs, but the Summer of 1829 brought a new source of trouble to the resilient villagers. Owing a great deal to their rich diet of fish and the fabulous weather that summer, the dogs of Ballycrone felt emboldened. Having been kept indoors for large periods of the summer due to their smelly fish breath, the dogs felt like a change needed to come. They quickly banded together and ruthlessly took over the village. This is not to say that the villagers did not fight back, but due to insufficient protein sources and vitamins, they proved no match for the packs of dogs.

What followed was a power struggle that was to last until 1989, when the villagers, with help from Sir Richard III, who had grown tired of hosting the monthly ‘Big Dog’ parties at Crone Manor, decided to end the fighting once and for all. Sir Richard invited every dog for miles around for a party titled ‘The Biggest of the Big Dogs’. Little did the four legged beasts know that he had poisoned every pink salmon fillet that was served that night.

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