Dragon’s Cave

On the westerly side of Ballycrone there is a secluded cove. The land separating the beach from the road is owned by Mother Eekerton, who owns a gun and uses it without caution. One must trek through her fields without being shot and climb down a steep grey cliff to reach the stony Scaly Beach, a journey that few undertake. Having reached Scaly Beach (so called because of the shipwrecked boat of Harold Foot and Sons, which sank off the coast of Ballycrone over 200 years ago and whose cargo, weighing scales, have washed up on Scaly Beach in their hundreds since), walk South-West along the shore for 500m until you reach Dragon’s Cave.

Felix McDermott moved to Dragon’s Cave, formerly Mutt Cave, in the late 1980s when he was 36 year’s old. Felix had been a dragonphile for much of his life and as he grew older he began to fully commit to life as a fire-breathing flying reptile. From cardboard boxes left behind by his ex wife, he fashioned a simple dragon costume. He waited until Sunday night, when he knew Mother Eekerton went to play darts, crept silently through her fields and scrambled down the cliff to the beach.

For years, the adventurous children of Ballycrone who made it to Scaly Beach returned with tales of an invisible fire breathing dragon who lived in Mutt’s Cave. Upon investigation, Sergeant Fiona Brook found the dragon to be no more than McDermott with a Lynx can and a small Bic Lighter. She and her officers decided that he was causing no harm but told him that he must erect a sign to notify passersby. It still stands at the entrance to Dragon’s Cave, and reads – Beware All Ye Who Enter This Cave. A Dragon Dwells Within. Fuck Off and Leave Him Alone.

The reason I tell you this is because Felix recently called Sergeant Brook and asked her to come to his cave to show her something disturbing that he had found washed up on the beach outside. The village is alive with the buzz of what it could have been, information that the Sergeant and the dragon have kept confidential for now.